At the top of this episode, we share how we organize and prepare for holiday gift-giving.

To skip right to the main topic of forgiveness, go to 7:30 into the episode.

Here’s a list of the phrases, phenomenons, and thoughts we discuss in this episode:

• "Hurt people hurt people"

• Fundamental Attribution Error - the phenomenon of how we judge others on their character, but ourselves on our situation

• We don’t have friends and enemies; we have teachers

• Forgiving is a hygienic practice

• Forgiving is giving up one point of view for another

• Forgiving is not letting "them" off the hook

• When you don’t forgive someone, it’s not a punishment for them

• When you decide to cut someone out of your life for your own health, it’s also not a punishment for them, it’s simply for your own health

• When you hold a grudge, or are obsessed with what you regard as someone else’s weakness, you’re allowing that perceived weakness to define you. Do you really want to define yourself by that?

• But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ~ Matthew 5:44-45, words attributed to Jesus by Christian scripture

• Seeing others and ourselves as our 'younger selves' who are just trying to get through, feel safe, and cope, using the strategies we cobbled together as very young children.

Hoʻoponopono

The Hawaiian practice that facilitates forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing of relationships within a community.

Hoʻo - indicates the act of doing something
Pono - ‘righteousness,’ in right relationship

One modern way of expressing the hoʻoponopono attitude is a simple prayer that goes: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”