189 How To Get A Better Sleep: The Two Sleep Drives and The Perfect Bedtime
This episode is based on a talk called “Working with Insomnia” by clinical psychologist Seth Gillihan. It covers tips for getting into a good groove when it comes to our sleep lives, that are all science-based and down-to-earth and doable. No crazy technology required.
Our notes are below, but first we want to give credit to Sam Harris’s meditation app called Waking Up, which was how we heard this talk. (We know, we know, yes, it’s a talk about sleep in an app called Waking Up. Heehee. Waking Up also has sleep meditations.) The app includes a series of talks called “Mindful CBT.” And this specific talk about “Working With Insomnia,” is a part of that series.
And now, our notes.
Our Human Organisms Have 2 Types of Sleep Drives
The Circadian Sleep Drive
The Circadian Sleep Drive is related to our internal biological clock, and works on a 24-hour rhythm of alternating sleep and wakefulness.
The Homeostatic Sleep Drive
This drive is basically a kind of appetite, or hunger. Just like food, the longer we go without it, the more hungry we’ll get for it.
Seth’s guidance is to match-up these two drives so that both of them are driving you to sleep at the same time.
Seth also addresses common barriers to sleep and tips to help us improve our sleep.
Common Barriers To Sleep
Chasing sleep: trying to catch-up on sleep by sleeping in, getting into bed early, or trying naps
Worrying about sleep: only makes us associate an unpleasant experience with sleep
Trying hard to sleep: also only makes us associate unpleasant experiences with sleep
Both worrying and trying hard, since they usually take the form of spending hours tossing and turning in bed, actually train us to think of The Bed as a place of worry, struggle, and frustration. Not a good strategy for improving our sleep lives.
Here are Tips To Help Improve Your Sleep
Remember that sleep comes to us.
We don’t ‘achieve it’ by running it down and being successful at catching it.
We have to just let it come to us.
Only spend as much time in bed as you need for actual sleeping.
How much time is that?
Here’s the formula to figure it out.
Estimate how many hours your body needs for sleep. That is, settle on a duration that reflects how much time you actually spend asleep; not just in bed, but asleep. You could jot an estimate of this number down for a week or two if you need to suss out an average. Now add 30 minutes to that amount of time.
This total is the amount of time Seth advises you to spend in bed.
Prepare for sleep: screens off, don’t get hyped by adrenaline-pumping games, shows, blogs, news feeds, comment sections, or conversations right before turning in.
Humans sleep best if it’s cool (around 65ºF), quiet, and dark.
Mindfulness: gather your thoughts and focus and bring them all together to where you body is: in bed, sinking into it, using the skill of allowing and relaxation to let sleep come to you.
Nighty night.
Here’s a related episode on How To Get A Better Sleep:
https://sienaandtoast.com/podcast/how-to-get-a-better-sleep, which was originally published on 11/14/23